Man-eating mantids and blood-drawing beetles.

What a week at work I've had.
On Thursday, we had some new mantids in the case where Beyonce 2 (the old praying mantis) used to be. Praying mantids only live about 6 months after they've hatched, so the ones in the cases get switched up fairly often. So I take this one - let's call her Beyonce 3 - out of the case to show my tour group, and she's really eyeing me up. I had a small tour group, so she only got passed to one person. When I tried to put her back in the cage, though, she went a bit mental on me, pinched me with her giant raptorial forearms and then bit me! By this time I already had my hand in the case, and shook it in surprise. After a moment she let go, but not before drawing blood- the little bugger.
After another tour, I'd calmed down enough to think about bringing the (also new) mantis out of the other half of the case. This one didn't bite me, but a pinch with her forearms made me think she would, so brilliantly I shook my hand and she flew off (unharmed- they do have wings).
I really just want to write these off as bugs being little bitches, but probably they were just hungry and maybe a little confused. At the same time, though, my fingers can't really look all that much like a headless cricket.
Two days later- today, Saturday- was a fabulous day of tours. Some days I go in and haven't got a proper train of thought, but I was rocking it today. My group and I came to the Atlas beetle, and some of the guests pointed out that he was on his back. The thing about these guys is that they're so big and have such gigantic horns (used for fighting over females, of course) that if they get stuck on their back, they can't flip themselves over on their own. Me, being the wonderful employee and bug samaritan that I am, decided to give the guy a hand. It turns out if you offer a hand, they'll take a finger - at least a big bloody chunk. Because we just got him in a few days ago, I hadn't been briefed that he actually needs to be picked up by the horns, and not by the back. I guess he panicked, and my index finger got pinched between his wing cases and his head. I decided to attempt to ignore it- play it cool and continue with my tour. When the blood started running down my hands, the tour group assured me it was quite all right- they'd wait while I cleaned myself up.
In the end though, I guess it makes for a good story. I even made my first tip today! No surprise, though, that it came from a couple who witnessed the bloody beetle battle. But yes, the beetle is really that big.

Breaking onto the e-book scene.

I was on the phone with my mom last night and we were discussing writing. Now, like I've mentioned before, I've long held this fantasy of becoming a best-selling author. I don't mean to say I want to make it a lifelong career, but it would be wonderful to just be a one-hit wonder, like Margaret Mitchell, Harper Lee, J.D. Salinger. I'd be perfectly happy just to have something published though; that's when my mom and I started discussing this recent craze of e-book publishing. Really, anyone can write and publish an ebook, and make money off it. And here's the thing- I have an idea. I haven't had an idea for anything since like grade 4. And it's a good one. I just did a web search on the topic and nothing similar came up, so I might have something here- and I can't help but be excited! I should probably begin my research, though, before someone else comes up with the same idea...

Steve Buscemi and Woody Allen

I just opened this to write a post about the three movies I saw last week, and promptly forgot everything I was planning on writing. I at least remember what movies they were, though, so I'll give a rundown of my opinion.

1. Fargo was pretty brilliant. Classic Coen Brothers film (or so I hear- I've only seen a few), pretty dark, but a great storyline and acting. The premise is that Jerry (William H. Macy), a car salesman, is in some serious trouble money-wise, and decides the best way of fixing this is by hiring some seedy-looking dudes (including the awesome Steve Buscemi) to "kidnap" his wife and then collecting on the ransom money her very rich father with no doubt pay to have her returned. What a great husband. No surprise at how this one ends, but it was a good way to spend 98 minutes.
2.  Hangover Part II I wasn't impressed with- then again, I was probably one of the few people pretty unimpressed with the original. The second movie only served to almost duplicate the first one. Same cast, same plot, different city. Shocking- they find the guy they lost in the same building they started out in. At least they thought to check the roof first thing this time.
3. Antz was a bit of a kids movie, but with quite adult themes- war, totalitarianism, you name it. I watched it for studying for work- it is about an ant colony, after all. These ant movies (this one and A Bug's Life) kill me just a little bit. In the real world, ALL the ants in a colony are females, and males are only for mating purposes. That might not translate as well to the screen, though- hard to have a traditional love story with males all vying for new queens and dying shortly after mating. The main character in Antz (which has, by the way, an incredibly star-studded cast) is voiced by Woody Allen- so I guess I'll let their inaccuracies slide.

Green and delicious.

I just made just about the most delicious thing I've eaten so far this month (barring the bacon I ate this morning... though at least I made it to the gym after that greasy treat)- an avocado smoothie. I sort of used this recipe but used honey instead of sugar, substituted lemon juice for the lime, AND added a banana and some ice. My recipe's probably better anyway. A yummy, healthy lunch! Now, to find a curly straw.....

Little creatures who run the world.

Just watched the NOVA broadcast of Ants - Little Creatures Who Run the World, starring everyone's favorite ecologist and ant lover, E. O. Wilson! Lots of great shots, lots of super interesting information. I won't bore you with the details, but I have to share the Honeypot Ant (+ picture). These ants use fellow members of the colony as actual living storage for honey that they've collected, and they're filled until they can't move on their own. I think I'd rather be a Driver Ant and kick some serious termite butt.

So it goes.

Tutoring last night went fantastic! Our student (Rhye) was actually very smart, and she seemed to respond well to our instruction. It also was a bit of a bonding experience for me and Dan- being able to do something like that together. Though I'd been reviewing math and she needed physics help...

I just finished reading Slaughterhouse Five (by Kurt Vonnegut) this morning. I can't believe it took me this long to do so. Brilliant book, though I'm always sad when I find out something I really am enjoying reading is still going way over my head. It made more sense to me than Vonnegut's book Cat's Cradle, which I didn't exactly struggle with, but I definitely didn't get everything out of it that I should have.

I used to want to be a writer, but I think I figured out so many of the best ideas have already been taken, and I'm not sure where I'd get new ideas. Research, I suppose. But it's ironic- I love reading, I love books, but I have the attention span of a gnat. I blame the internet.

Now that I'm done that book, I'm going to try to get more bug reading done for my job. I've been trying to get through The Red Hourglass, a book about black widows and other such animal predators. Non-fiction always feels like school to me, though, and it makes it harder for me to concentrate on. Curses.

Tutoring

So I have a tutoring student coming today!
This marks the first time I'm tutoring anyone since high school. She needs help with physics and math 11, so I thought I'd brush up a bit. Turns out I'm super rusty. Found a great website, though, which so far has been pretty useful. Not to mention I live with an engineer, ha ha. We'll make a great tutoring team!

In a similar train of thought, Shit My Students Write is a hilarious website. I can't wait to become a teacher.

The Beginning.

Having a staredown with Pierre Bearton.